BuiltaLife – Life Update

It has been a long time since I have written anything for my friends and readers here.

I’m sorry for that. I’ve started and stopped several different posts. I even told myself that it was because I was dedicating myself back to my book writing. Which was true – for a while. In September I went to San Diego for a writer’s workshop with Bob Goff and Kimberly Stuart. It reenergized me. I had focus and was ready to finish the book.

But life interrupted again. There are a few people in my life that have some serious health concerns. And while I was not the one dealing with it on a daily basis, it brought back some very difficult feelings to deal with. Although writing should have been my go-to to deal with those feelings, I didn’t.

Then the holidays hit. Thanksgiving (which has never been my favorite holiday, if I’m being honest) and Christmas. I was looking forward to Christmas (which has been my favorite holiday in the past but is starting to lose its charm if I’m being honest due to the stress that comes with it, both mine and those around me).

Thanksgiving week I had minor surgery to correct a deviated septum in hopes of not having to use a CPAP machine anymore (good news, that seems to have really helped). Not realizing how miserable I would be during recovery, that may not have been the best week to schedule it. I did order food for Thanksgiving so we did not have to cook (that was definitely a lifesaver and I highly recommend doing it).

The next week I had my ‘every 3 month scans’ scheduled. For those who don’t know, living with metastatic cancer, scans bring about another layer of anxiety. Beginning a few days before the scans until I read the reports -or get the reports from my doctor – it is as though I’m holding my breath, waiting to know if this will be the scan that changes my current treatment plan. Sometimes I don’t even notice the anxiety until I release it.

This time was no different, except there was also the added anxiety of a close relative being in the hospital.

I went to the doctor on Friday, December 10th, and got the results from my scans. The news was what I expected, thankfully. There was no change, no new lesions, I was “stable”. I usually like to tell people “These scan results are brought to you by the letter S for stable” – thank Sesame Street for the reference.

The next day, December 11th, wasn’t anything special. It was a little chilly out that morning. And with all of the online shopping for Christmas I had done, my recycle pile was growing exponentially. It was time to take all the recycling out to the recycle receptacle. An activity that I have done numerous times without incident.

But then it happened. My ankle and my lifted shoe worked against me. I’m not really sure if my ankle gave out, or my foot just slipped off the lifted shoe, or if the slope and the shoe combined to take me down. But whatever it was, it wasn’t good. I fell and hit the ground. Hard.

And I knew. I knew it was bad. I tried to get up. I couldn’t. A neighbor saw me on the ground and came to offer assistance. He tried to help me up, but the pain was intense. I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t even roll over to a sitting position.

Thankfully, my oldest daughter was home for the holidays and she assessed the situation, said “yep, you need some x-rays” and then (after she retrieved a pain pill I had leftover from the surgery a few weeks before) I was being lifted by four people into the car to head to the hospital.

The ER nurses managed to help me out of the car and into a wheelchair. After all of the “tell me what happened” too many times to count, they finally ordered the X-rays. My left femur was broken near the knee cap.

And since I have metastatic cancer, they also opted for another CT scan, just to make sure the break wasn’t due to anything cancer-related. Thankfully, it was just a “regular break”.

After a quick surgery to put in some plates and screw, and impressing all of the OT/PT and nurses with my mad walker skills (“this ain’t my first rodeo” might have been said once or a hundred times with each new person that saw me get out of bed and use the walker even with stitches and a lovely new incision from hip to below the knee), I was back home resting and recovering on my couch by Tuesday.

If you have read any of my story in the past, this may sound a little familiar. Four years ago, December/January 2017, I was also recovering from surgery when they removed all of the hardware in my hip.

I’m hoping there will be no infection resulting from the screws and plates down the road. (Fingers crossed). I am very thankful this happened to my left femur and not my right since I am already so accustomed to compensating for my left leg. It has made the recovery much less frustrating. Still frustrating, don’t get me wrong, but not as frustrating as it could have been.

2022 has not started the way I was hoping it would. The pandemic is still here, I’m using a walker and can’t put weight on my left leg for at least another 2 weeks, and the other family members I mentioned earlier could use lots of prayers (if that’s your thing).

I hope 2022 will be a little kinder as the calendar turns. If the last 10 plus years have taught me anything, life will knock the wind out of you, but it is your choice on how to adjust the sails to move forward.