BuiltaLife

Offering hope to those on the path behind me

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Love by Actions

My youngest daughter is a senior in high school. She is part of the color guard in marching band.

I have difficulty going to football games and sitting in the stands due to surgery that I had on my hip several years ago. But this year, I wanted to attend as many home games as possible to watch the band perform. Of course, as you know, the issues with my husband has limited my ability even further to go to the games.

Last night was the big rivalry game with the school that is just 5 miles down the road. It was also the night before the UIL marching contest.

I asked my daughter to text me when they went down on the field to warm up just before halftime and I went up to the field and watched the performance. Luckily we live only a couple of blocks from the school so I was able to get up there in time to see them perform.

I was happy I was finally able to get up to a game and see the band’s show. ‘

My daughter knows that I love her, but sometimes, we must show them how important they are to us.

Because of the time in the hospital (over a week) and the inability of my husband to do too much on his own because of pain and discomfort, I have not been able to do as much as I would like to show my daughter with actions how much I love her.

She knew I was coming to the game last night at halftime and was pleased to see me afterwards. But today, I surprised her even further.

Today was marching UIL contest. Which means all of the schools in our district perform their shows and receive scores from judges. If your school gets a score of 1, they get to advance to Area.

In Texas, because there are so many schools, advancing only happens every other year. This is a year for the size school she attends to advance. The band has not been to state since my girls have been participating (I’m not really sure the last time the band qualified to advance to state). This year, the seniors are determined to change that. Their unofficial motto is #statebound.

As I sat watching college football with my husband, I was reminded of 1 James 3:18

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Today I decided to let my actions speak for me. My husband has been resting comfortably and I thought I could leave him for a couple of hours and ‘surprise’ my daughter by showing up at the contest.

I got there just as they were marching in and, although I saw her, she did not see me (so focused on the task ahead). I climbed up the steps in the stadium, found a seat that allowed me an unobstructed view and watched with pride as the band performed.

It wasn’t until after the show was over and the band was headed off to take the official pictures, that she saw me. I’m not sure if it was just me, but her eyes seemed to light up when she saw me. My 17 year-old smiled and said “Hey mom. I didn’t know you were coming.” Surprise!

By taking just a few hours out of my day, trusting that my husband would be fine resting with college football on the television, I showed my daughter that, even though I need to spend my energy and time taking care of her dad/my husband more than usual right now, I still value and love her.

Seek Him

Do you have friends that are always in a good mood?

I do. I have come to appreciate them. They are able to find something good in most situations. Or if not in the situation, then at least find something good throughout the day.

I have found it better to surround myself with people who are happy than with people who are not. Those who can’t find any happiness take too much of my energy.

Today’s verse comes from Proverbs 8:17

I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

“Those who seek me find me.” At least in my experience, the people who can find joy, even in the midst of chaos, are people who seek God. Joy is an internal choice that they make each and every day. It is because they seek God, that they have found Joy.

This does not mean that their world is perfect. (Have you ever really met someone whose life is perfect?) It just means that they have found that choosing joy and seeking God can make the chaos seem less intense.

For me, I am choosing to seek God in the midst of chaos. He is there. And I have found him.

I have found him in the friends who text me to let me know they are praying. I have found him in the nurses at the hospital who can come into the room and smile and joke with my husband and me. I have found him in the family who is far away that sends a hand written card several times a week to let us know they care even if they can’t be here in person. I have found him in my doctor who was concerned about how I am doing emotionally and offered to help in whatever way she could.

God is there. We must seek Him or it will be us that is lost.

 

He is Faithful

The past 3 weeks I have seen the hands and feet of God.

Our family has been blessed by friends and family who have gone above and beyond what I could have imagined. From hospital visits, food, to mowing the lawn. Taking care of me so that I can take care of my husband.

Although the adjustment from being the one being cared for to being the caregiver has been difficult, I have had great support from wonderful people.

So today, I rely on Hebrews 10:23

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Sometimes in the midst of chaos we feel like God has forgotten us. But if we just open our eyes and our hearts we realize that God is working in the midst of chaos.

It is a matter of hope and trust. I have seen that God is faithful, so it is up to me to hold unswervingly to the hope.

Trust in Him

Today I am back in the book of Psalm. If you would have told me that I would be using that for inspiration a few months ago I would have laughed. The Psalms have never really been my favorite. Maybe it is because my profession for the last 20 plus years was accounting. Accountants are not really into the poetry and symbolism that is found in the book of Psalm. But I am learning to appreciate it more now.

Today I am inspired by Psalm 62:5-8

Yes; my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

I wonder if some of my friends think that I should be finding a rock and crawling under it. [If you read further, I guess you will see that I have found a rock and I have crawled in His lap}.

This is the 3rd time cancer has impacted our immediate family (we won’t even mention the other people in our family that have been impacted by cancer).

Some may think “well, it is all she knows.” You see, I have been living with cancer for 12 years, and have been stage 4 for 5 years. Now, the tides have turned and my husband, who has been my rock, salvation and refuge, has stage 4 cancer.

I should be mad, or angry, or questioning “Why us again?” But I can’t do that. Not this time.

As I told a group of people today, and have told others in individual conversations, I can only look forward. I cannot look back. I cannot ask “What IF?” or even “Why us?”

If I let myself go down that path, I fear that I may never find my way back. So, I must stay on the path that moves forward. The path that says “Ok, what’s next?”

I must TRUST in God, pour out my heart to Him (and to Him alone) and know that He is my refuge.

I know that God has been faithful to my family over the past 12 years. He has provided for our needs, and He will continue to provide for our needs.

Does that make me crazy? Maybe. But maybe being crazy about Trusting God is what allows me to keep my sanity amidst the craziness that is my life right now.

So each morning as I wake I choose to Trust God.

 

 

 

I can’t do ALL Things – Philippians 4:13

If you are a Christian, and even if you aren’t, you have probably heard the verse that I am using for my inspiration today.

Philippians 4:13. Yes, most Christians don’t even need to flip to their bible to know what the verse says.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (NIV)

This verse used to really bother me. You see, I used to be a perfectionist. That does not mean that I was perfect. It meant that if I didn’t do something perfect, then I would not do it at all. That held me back from doing a lot of things. Some of my friends and family may find that a little surprising (or maybe not).

I recently began this writing journey, which goes completely against my perfectionism, especially when writing for this 31 day challenge. I have had to fight against my tendency to be a perfectionist and, as Nike says in their advertisements or as Shia LaBeouf has shouted at most of the world Just Do It.

How does this relate to my previous aversion to this verse? Continue reading

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