Offering hope to those on the path behind me

Tag: metastatic breast cancer (Page 4 of 5)

Confetti, a Bell and a Certificate – Treatment is Finished

At the door to the infusion room there is a bell. I didn’t really notice it at first. Then, while I was sitting there with drugs dripping into my veins, someone rang the bell and the nurses threw confetti signifying they had finished their treatment.

I got to ring the bell. Eight total treatments from November to April. It was a small celebration, with confetti and  a certificate indicating my treatment was complete. OK. But what’s next?

After a few weeks I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor. For me, treatment was really complete yet. I still had a cycle of radiation to go. I met with the radiation oncologist, who just happened to be downstairs, and got my orders.

Before beginning radiation, I had to have my “pillow” made. So many new and unique experiences that unless you have had cancer you do not understand. The pillow has some sort of beads in it and you lie on it in just the right position. Somehow the pillow becomes a mold that allows you to stay in the same position for all of your treatments. Every day, they pull out your pillow and away you go watching the machine rotate around you and zapping radiation into targeted areas to kill any more cancer cells that might be left.

Radiation is a long process, but it does not take very long. That must sound strange. The actual radiation treatment only took about 10 minutes once I was on the table. But, it was 10 minutes every day for 20 days (no weekends).

I would schedule the radiation treatment either first thing in the morning or later in the afternoon depending on my schedule. Since the office was about half way between work and home it was very convenient (convenient – not really a word I thought I would ever use when talking about cancer).

The radiation does not have many immediate side effects. While I was getting my radiation treatment it was just another appointment on the calendar. However, as the radiation began to accumulate, I became more tired and it was harder to have energy for much more than getting up, going to work and driving home.

The most memorable experience of the radiation treatment was AFTER  it was completed. A few days after I received my last treatment I woke up and realized I felt like I had the worst sunburn I have ever had in my life (if you recall, my cancer is breast cancer, so putting on a bra was impossible, sorry guys if that is too much information).

Once again, God showed how he is in the small stuff. My radiation treatment ended just before out offices closed for a week for the July 4th holiday. I had a full week to sleep, recover and heal my burn before I had to return to work.

 

Confetti congrats

Another bell, another confetti celebration and another certificate of completion….But What Is Next?

 

I can’t do ALL Things – Philippians 4:13

If you are a Christian, and even if you aren’t, you have probably heard the verse that I am using for my inspiration today.

Philippians 4:13. Yes, most Christians don’t even need to flip to their bible to know what the verse says.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (NIV)

This verse used to really bother me. You see, I used to be a perfectionist. That does not mean that I was perfect. It meant that if I didn’t do something perfect, then I would not do it at all. That held me back from doing a lot of things. Some of my friends and family may find that a little surprising (or maybe not).

I recently began this writing journey, which goes completely against my perfectionism, especially when writing for this 31 day challenge. I have had to fight against my tendency to be a perfectionist and, as Nike says in their advertisements or as Shia LaBeouf has shouted at most of the world Just Do It.

How does this relate to my previous aversion to this verse? Continue reading

Is that what is meant by Support?

This new life was scary for all of us. But we were especially concerned about our daughters as I was about to start chemo. Mom was going to lose her hair, she was not going to feel well, and well, who knows what else the next few months were going to hold.

We decided to go to the elementary school and meet with the girls’ teachers and administration so they were aware of what was happening at home and could help keep an eye on how they were handling things.

My oldest was in second grade at the time. Her teacher was an angel (in fact, she was later my younger daughter’s teacher too). When we told her about the diagnosis and that I would be starting chemo soon, she asked if she could add me to her prayer list at church. Of course, a few more prayers would never hurt.

Then she told me about a support group at her church for women with breast cancer. She asked if I would be interested in going. Honestly, I had never really had any need for a support group before, but this was new territory.

I agreed to go.

Looking back, I wish I had said no. We had a great support system from our friends, family and church. But I didn’t listen to that little voice. Continue reading

Surgery, Round 2…A Plan for Chemo

The world continued around me even though it felt like mine was falling a part.

My children still had to get up and go to school. I still had a job (that one that I just started in August). I had to continue to get up out of bed each morning and figure out how to make it through the day.

In 2003, my girls were 8 and 5, respectively. They did not understand what was going on with mom. They just knew that I was home and that climbing on me was uncomfortable for me, but as any mom will attest, the best medicine is a good snuggle from her kids.

Somehow I made it through the weekend and Wednesday came. It was time to go back to the hospital for round 2 of the lumpectomy. In addition to trying to get clear margins around the tumor, the surgeon was also going to remove some lymph nodes to determine if the cancer had gone beyond the breast. Continue reading

It’s Like that game…

Do you remember the game Perfection?

It was one of my favorites as a kid. I was pretty good at it. There were about 25 pieces that you had to put into the correct holes in the board. Even though you played against other players, you were really playing against the clock. There was a 60 second timer. If you didn’t get the pieces in the correct holes and the timer went off, the board popped up and spit the pieces in the air.

TimerIt always seemed like the timer got louder and louder as it counted down to Zero.

Today was one of those days that a #Lifer feels like the timer is getting louder and louder and the clock is counting down to zero. Continue reading

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