Offering hope to those on the path behind me

Tag: thrive (Page 2 of 3)

Confetti, a Bell and a Certificate – Treatment is Finished

At the door to the infusion room there is a bell. I didn’t really notice it at first. Then, while I was sitting there with drugs dripping into my veins, someone rang the bell and the nurses threw confetti signifying they had finished their treatment.

I got to ring the bell. Eight total treatments from November to April. It was a small celebration, with confetti and  a certificate indicating my treatment was complete. OK. But what’s next?

After a few weeks I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor. For me, treatment was really complete yet. I still had a cycle of radiation to go. I met with the radiation oncologist, who just happened to be downstairs, and got my orders.

Before beginning radiation, I had to have my “pillow” made. So many new and unique experiences that unless you have had cancer you do not understand. The pillow has some sort of beads in it and you lie on it in just the right position. Somehow the pillow becomes a mold that allows you to stay in the same position for all of your treatments. Every day, they pull out your pillow and away you go watching the machine rotate around you and zapping radiation into targeted areas to kill any more cancer cells that might be left.

Radiation is a long process, but it does not take very long. That must sound strange. The actual radiation treatment only took about 10 minutes once I was on the table. But, it was 10 minutes every day for 20 days (no weekends).

I would schedule the radiation treatment either first thing in the morning or later in the afternoon depending on my schedule. Since the office was about half way between work and home it was very convenient (convenient – not really a word I thought I would ever use when talking about cancer).

The radiation does not have many immediate side effects. While I was getting my radiation treatment it was just another appointment on the calendar. However, as the radiation began to accumulate, I became more tired and it was harder to have energy for much more than getting up, going to work and driving home.

The most memorable experience of the radiation treatment was AFTER  it was completed. A few days after I received my last treatment I woke up and realized I felt like I had the worst sunburn I have ever had in my life (if you recall, my cancer is breast cancer, so putting on a bra was impossible, sorry guys if that is too much information).

Once again, God showed how he is in the small stuff. My radiation treatment ended just before out offices closed for a week for the July 4th holiday. I had a full week to sleep, recover and heal my burn before I had to return to work.

 

Confetti congrats

Another bell, another confetti celebration and another certificate of completion….But What Is Next?

 

Be Awesome – But don’t tell anyone

This morning I finally (I’m not too disciplined in my reading, I’m trying to get better about that this year) finished reading a book I highly recommend. Love Does by Bob Goff.

If you haven’t read it. Go to the library or the bookstore (brick and mortar or virtual) and pick up a copy. It has definitely changed my perspective on how I’m living, speaking and thinking about others.

Bob (I feel like I can call him that after getting to know him through his book, he doesn’t seem like the Mr. Goff type) makes so many great points in his book about being engaged in Life and doing things, anything and everything, out of Love. If you do, then life – yours and those that you are interacting with – is just better.

I admit I have been a little down after the holidays. The past three months have taken a toll on me emotionally and physically. If this is your first time reading this blog you may want to check out Day One or The Day my life changed.

One of my favorite chapters was “Lose the Cape”.

In the “Lose the Cape” chapter, Bob talks about how Jesus wants us to be secretly incredible. He writes “I think instead, Jesus wants us to write ‘Be Awesome’ on an undershirt where it won’t be seen, not on the back of a hoodie.” I love this. I want to be Awesome like that.

In a world where people are bombarded by everyone trying to prove how awesome they are to anyone who will listen (think Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) how much fun would it be to be secretly awesome and know the One who really matters knows how awesome you are. In fact, as Bob says “…don’t take the bait that if we do incredible things Jesus will dig us more. He can’t. He already digs us more. And more than that, our pictures are already in His wallet.” be awesome

How cool is that? To think my picture is in Jesus’ wallet! Because we all know the only pictures in our wallets are people that we think are awesome.

I was a little disappointed a few weeks ago when I noticed that my Facebook page had “lost” a couple of followers. I don’t have many to begin with so losing a few was noticeable (ha ha). Then I read this chapter. And I decided to take off the cape. I’m not trying to be awesome for people I don’t know and prove to them how awesome I am. I am trying to be the best version of awesome I can be, and remind myself daily with #todaysawesome how awesome my life is and to be grateful for things that I used to take for granted.

In 2016, I want to live this out. I want to be awesome without having to shout it from the rooftop. Jesus would do something awesome and do you know what he would say afterwards? “Tell no one”

Let’s see how much Awesome we can spread together this year. I won’t tell if you won’t.

 

 

I can’t do ALL Things – Philippians 4:13

If you are a Christian, and even if you aren’t, you have probably heard the verse that I am using for my inspiration today.

Philippians 4:13. Yes, most Christians don’t even need to flip to their bible to know what the verse says.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (NIV)

This verse used to really bother me. You see, I used to be a perfectionist. That does not mean that I was perfect. It meant that if I didn’t do something perfect, then I would not do it at all. That held me back from doing a lot of things. Some of my friends and family may find that a little surprising (or maybe not).

I recently began this writing journey, which goes completely against my perfectionism, especially when writing for this 31 day challenge. I have had to fight against my tendency to be a perfectionist and, as Nike says in their advertisements or as Shia LaBeouf has shouted at most of the world Just Do It.

How does this relate to my previous aversion to this verse? Continue reading

Don’t let Worry steal your Future

Last Sunday the sermon was about worry.  The preacher mentioned that there were studies that indicate that worry is a sign of intelligence. This post on Huffington Post, cites a study that found a relationship between worrying and verbal intelligence.

I admit I have been a worrier in the past. (I’m not trying to suggest that my verbal intelligence is high). But honestly, that was before I was diagnosed with cancer the second time. I guess I didn’t learn my lesson well enough the first time, so maybe I am an anomaly to the intelligence/worry correlation.

In 2010 when I got the news that my cancer had metastasized, I will admit I was worried and scared.

Scared for what that meant for my family. What would happen to them if I wasn’t around. After all, my kids were in middle school and high school. This might be too much for them to handle.

As happens when you get that kind of news, you go straight into fight mode. You find out what the test results are and you talk to you doctors to find out what the next course of action is. (You can read more about how this journey started by reading My Story and following along).

Since I wasn’t able to work during this time around due to physical issues, I felt isolated. Some wonderful friends talked me into joining a bible study at our church to help get me out of the house.

This was when the change started to take place. I participated in a bible study group for several months, and then found another class that was a more in depth study.

The small group (less than 15) and the daily reading and learning slowly began to change my outlook.

I began to understand that I could not change the fact that I have cancer. The best I could do, for me, for my family and for my health was to live life without worrying every day.

Easy?

Continue reading

It’s Like that game…

Do you remember the game Perfection?

It was one of my favorites as a kid. I was pretty good at it. There were about 25 pieces that you had to put into the correct holes in the board. Even though you played against other players, you were really playing against the clock. There was a 60 second timer. If you didn’t get the pieces in the correct holes and the timer went off, the board popped up and spit the pieces in the air.

TimerIt always seemed like the timer got louder and louder as it counted down to Zero.

Today was one of those days that a #Lifer feels like the timer is getting louder and louder and the clock is counting down to zero. Continue reading

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