I have always thought I have to be the strong one for everyone around me.
Last night I learned being strong is not what I was really doing.
I have a habit of taking on everyone’s troubles as my own. I care deeply for those around me, therefore, I take on their problems and try to fix them. If I can’t fix them, I worry about how to fix them. I carry this weight around like an anchor. The more I take on, the more the anchor sinks to the bottom.
From the outside, I am able to give the impression that I am gently treading water, but on the inside, the anchor is pulling me down into a whirlpool I can only escape from if I let go of the anchor. But I refuse to let go (cue the song from Frozen, yes, I hear you singing along).
Why do I do this? How can I learn to be strong by letting God take my anchors.
This morning I listened to a short meditation (you can the meditation here). The meditation asked me to see a bright light and let it surround me. The light, representing God was enveloping me. As I visualized the light the old children’s song played in the background of my mind “This little light of mine I’m going to let it shine.” As the words played over and over in my mind, and I tried to visualize the light, I found myself wanting to rewrite the words. It is NOT a little light. It is as LARGE as we can imagine and then continues to grow to proportions that are beyond our imagination.
After the brief meditation, I took my morning coffee and a small devotional book and sat out on my deck. The devotional was a book I hadn’t picked up in months.
Not normally my habit (I usually start at the beginning and read everything in order), I opened the book to a random page. The first words I read were “you are in Me and I am in You” (from Jesus Today by Sarah Young). As I read further it said “you are filled with my Divine presence.” I’m constantly amazed by the presence of God in our lives when we take the time to invite him in and we are willing to listen.
So today I begin a new way of thinking about being Strong. I am letting go. Letting go of things that I have no control over. I am giving that anchor that has been weighing me down to God. He is so much more capable than I am.
I am going to ask the Light to come in each morning. And each night, knowing that I will resort to my old ways, I will ask God to take the anchors I have picked up along the way and tell him Thank You for taking the burden off of me.
What anchors are you carrying?
