Today I am back in the book of Psalm. If you would have told me that I would be using that for inspiration a few months ago I would have laughed. The Psalms have never really been my favorite. Maybe it is because my profession for the last 20 plus years was accounting. Accountants are not really into the poetry and symbolism that is found in the book of Psalm. But I am learning to appreciate it more now.

Today I am inspired by Psalm 62:5-8

Yes; my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

I wonder if some of my friends think that I should be finding a rock and crawling under it. [If you read further, I guess you will see that I have found a rock and I have crawled in His lap}.

This is the 3rd time cancer has impacted our immediate family (we won’t even mention the other people in our family that have been impacted by cancer).

Some may think “well, it is all she knows.” You see, I have been living with cancer for 12 years, and have been stage 4 for 5 years. Now, the tides have turned and my husband, who has been my rock, salvation and refuge, has stage 4 cancer.

I should be mad, or angry, or questioning “Why us again?” But I can’t do that. Not this time.

As I told a group of people today, and have told others in individual conversations, I can only look forward. I cannot look back. I cannot ask “What IF?” or even “Why us?”

If I let myself go down that path, I fear that I may never find my way back. So, I must stay on the path that moves forward. The path that says “Ok, what’s next?”

I must TRUST in God, pour out my heart to Him (and to Him alone) and know that He is my refuge.

I know that God has been faithful to my family over the past 12 years. He has provided for our needs, and He will continue to provide for our needs.

Does that make me crazy? Maybe. But maybe being crazy about Trusting God is what allows me to keep my sanity amidst the craziness that is my life right now.

So each morning as I wake I choose to Trust God.