Bittersweet.

I have used that word more in the last 7 months than I have in my previous 50 years.

24 Years ago today, I married my best friend. While that evokes so many wonderful memories, today I am sad to not be celebrating with him.

Since August I have been in the process of building a new house. Some people may think that was really fast. But I had some great friends and family supporting me in the decision. In fact, J.R. and I actually talked about me moving if something happened to him, he wanted me to move to be closer to friends and family and to be in a house that would be more suited to my needs.

If I needed any reassurance that J.R. was happy for me (because I am human, and as humans we seek reassurances in everything), I received these beautiful signs that my guardian angel is watching over me:

My Guardian Angel

Wednesday afternoon, as I walked up to the office for the closing, I looked down on the sidewalk and noticed a penny. A bright shiny heads up penny, right in front of me. Pennies from Heaven, right there on the path to my new home.

Thursday was moving day and utility installation day (because I can’t update my blog without a good internet connection). Thursday morning, the internet installer called me to give me a time frame for the installation. When I answered the phone he said, “Hi, this is J.R. I will be installing your internet today.” I will tell you I almost dropped the phone. After the initial shock, I will admit I was amused that the J.R. would be installing my technology, because if you knew my husband, you would know he was “technology challenged.”

When the movers showed up at the house, they introduced themselves: Jerrod, Mike and David. For those of you who don’t know the whole story, J.R. passed away in July, and his friend (and confidant during his last months) Mike passed away suddenly in September. Mike and his beautiful wife Pam were actually helped me find the house I decided to build.

I am always in awe of how God sends you signs or talks to you in ways you will understand.

This morning is one of those bittersweet moments. I am sitting in a new house, surrounded by pieces of the life we shared, but all I can think of is how much we would have enjoyed this house together (the bitter part). However, I know he had a hand in helping me get here (the sweet part).

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life. I know you are watching over me and loving me everyday. Today (as I do every day, just like you asked) I will find a reason to smile.  I Love You!