That little voice in my head tells me “You are not special.”

Yesterday, I saw a post asking “How do you get someone to tell/write their story?”

People have asked me to write my story. Told me that they would read it and buy the book. But that little voice in my head continues to tell me “Kim, you are not special.”

I have not done anything heroic or extraordinary in my life. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 22 years. We have two beautiful daughters that I love with all of my heart. I am a breast cancer survivor going on 12 years since my original diagnosis and 5 years since the metastatic diagnosis.

People tell me that it is worth writing. But why? I really don’t understand. Continue reading

For twelve years I have tried to tell myself and others that I will not let cancer define me.  

Although I have cancer you might be surprised to learn that fact if we met on the street.  I don’t look sick.  The only indication that I’m not a marathon runner (ha ha) is that I walk with a cane and have a limp. I don’t even like to answer the question that inevitably comes “what happened?” I don’t want people to think “oh, I’m so sorry” or give me the pity look or the general uncomfortableness that people feel when they don’t know how to respond.  I don’t want that to be how people see me.

But that changed today. Today I had an aha moment.  Cancer has defined me.  I have grown in many ways since I was first diagnosed with cancer.  And I have grown even more since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.  How can that NOT define me?   Continue reading

This summer has been crazy.

So many friends and family have had life changing events happen this summer. Although not nearly to the extent that they each have been impacted, it has impacted my life as well because they are so very close to me.

It feels like I am riding a roller coaster and have been on the very long uphill climb. I keep anticipating that I will be at the top and the fun will begin when I finally go over the peak. That point where the wind is blowing through my hair and feel like I can just let go, scream like a kid and enjoy the ride (ok, that may only be true for true roller coaster fans, but you get the idea). Continue reading

Choices. We make them every day.

I make a lot of my choices based on how much energy it will cost me. Energy is important. If I don’t have energy then my choices are more limited.

In my email this morning I received a survey about Metastatic Breast Cancer. I don’t always participate in random surveys, but I when they relate to my breast cancer journey I will usually check them out. The questions were typical for these kind of surveys: What medications have you or are you taking? How often do you receive treatments? In the past 30 days how many times have you been to the doctor?

A couple of questions in particular got me thinking. The survey wanted to know: Has your metastatic cancer interfered with your daily activity? Have you not been able to do something that you wanted to do? Continue reading