It’s 2015 and there is no Hoverboard….

This morning I sit here in a quiet house wondering how time has gone by so quickly.

My youngest daughter started her senior year of high school this morning and I can’t help but wonder what I would tell my younger self to do differently.

In the midst of young children, work, school, church, mortgages, bills and trying to get by we can get caught up in the distractions. I pray that my children do not think that I pushed them aside as a distraction, but instead did not let the other distractions take too much time away from them.

I am extremely proud of both of my daughters. They are smart, funny, beautiful and love God and life. I think my husband and I did a pretty good job.

But still I wonder.. “Could I have done better?” and if so, what?

That is the question that drifts in and out of my mind as a parent. Especially during the milestones such as the Last First Day of High School.

Since it is not possible to go Back in Time like Marty McFly (cue Huey Lewis and the News), maybe the question I should be asking is “What can I do better going forward?”

As I sit here and ponder this year, I will focus on doing these 5 things better:

1. Pray each morning. I struggle with prayer. Not that I don’t believe in it, but I don’t always remember to have that quiet conversation with God each morning. To thank Him for the day, to ask for his guidance for me, my husband and my daughters.  Remembering to have the quiet conversation in the morning seems to make the day go so much smoother and not get absorbed in the silly distractions.
2. Listen attentively. Every day it is the same question “How was your day?” Usually the response back from any self-respecting  teenager is “Fine” or “OK”. But in the tone of the response you can hear more if you are listening to it. Admittedly, sometimes it is just being tired. But following up with a question about specifics can really give you better insight into what is going on. Again, I am not always good with the follow-up because of distractions. So my plan is to put them aside for 10 minutes when she gets home and just enjoy a conversation about the small things that happened in her day. P.S. I’m better about this with my daughter in college, because we don’t get to talk every day so I recognize the special times when she calls.
3. Spend time together. This seems simple. We are all in the same house. IF your house is like mine, the teenager goes to their room to “do homework.” I have found sometimes homework involves watching Netflix too. I have volunteered to be a mentor for our church youth program this year. Although we won’t be in the same small group on Sunday nights, I get 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with her in the car on the way to and from church. I did this last year and we had some great conversations in the car. Quality time spent devoted to her will be special since she will be headed off to college next year. The time we spend together this year will be precious to both of us and hopefully build the relationship so that she won’t forget to call her mom every so often next year.
4. Focus on Today. Yes, I keep saying that this is her senior year. I don’t want to get ahead of myself and forget to live in the moment. There will be so many memories to make and enjoy this year if I allow myself to not think about May 27, 2016 at 8 PM. There are football games where she will perform at halftime with the band. There will be first dates,  breakups, Prom and just every day events. I will remind myself every time I post a “Last (fill in the blank)” picture to treasure that moment and not worry about what happens next.
5. Don’t Lose Myself. Ok, this is more about me. I don’t want to get so caught up in “she won’t be here next year” that I don’t know how to be myself next year when she is not living with us. She is at school from 7:40 am until 5:00 or later depending on what practice she has. She will go on dates, hang out with friends and watch Netflix while doing homework. It will be just as important that I do not sit here and dwell on this year as it is to enjoy it. I will be involved in a bible study group who will support me during this important year. I will make it a priority to go on dates with my husband while she has other plans so that we do not suffer from that who are we now that the kids are gone syndrome? It will be important to treat myself well and have engaging friendships so that I am not lost after we drop her off at college next fall.

Since there is no hover board, I’m guessing there is no time machine to go back and talk to my younger self. So here is to my future self.  The only one that I can do anything for.

The only person that can shape your future self is YOU. What changes do you want to make?